Beethoven In Trance - Episode 74

2023 is like Seattle weather, a lot of grey and hazy days mixed with some beautiful sunny days from time to time. 

2023 started with company layoff and re-org. It was on the national news. The tech companies have overhired over the pandemics and finally came to the senses to trim fat. All the tech companies in the area let go thousands of employees, and our CEO announced no salary increase for the year as well. A few of my friends got impacted but fortunately found opportunities in other companies. Both my wife and I were fortunate enough not to be laid off, only moved to different organizations. I was not particularly happy about the timing of it because I thought it would reset my trajectory for the promotion. Fortunately it didn't. I did get a promotion mid year with lower than usual raise due to the "hard economic condition". I wasn't jumping up and down for celebration when I heard the news, rather felt "ok, finally!", a feeling of relieve and "now what?". I stopped thinking about promotion long time ago so that I can swallow the disappointment that I haven't got any. when I really got it, I was too numbed to react to it. 

Later, my team got restructured again, my manager expanded his responsibilities and had to introduce a layer of mid management. I got a new boss to report to, who I have worked with when I first joined the company. I didn't have a good relationship with her because I didn't think she was qualified for the job. I thought she take credit for others work while not doing her own. As a matter of fact, I thought I should be her manager instead. Well, apparently that was not what the leadership team thought. Fortunately, I had a new perspective in life and that helped me to working with her. That new life perspective however, came at a hefty cost. 

At the beginning of the year, my mom was diagnosed lung cancer, and it has spread to other parts of the body. It was a huge hit on everyone's spirit. We didn't even now how to react to it, let along handle it. We eventually managed to find a oncologist and started the treatment process. She was prescribed with meds and went through a week of radiation therapy to control the tumors. The meds is fortunately effective so far, and no side effect from either radiation or meds impacting her daily life. She is just weak, and doesn't have much appetite. She is trying to gain more strength so that she can be more mobile and active. We all hope for the positive trend to continue. 

My mother in law was also a lung cancer patient. After my father in law passed away last year, she has been living alone with my brother in law in Cleveland. They decided to go back to Shanghai this Summer to take care of some family business. My wife and her brother went with her in July and spent 2 weeks there. Unfortunately things took a bad turn in Shanghai after one night she fell on the floor. She then was in critical condition. Eventually she made it back with much back and forth between airlines regulations and hospital release requirements, but barely. My wife drove her to the local hospital the night they landed. She stayed in the hospital for couple of days then got release back to our home while her son went back to Cleveland. My wife extended her leave to take care of her and eventually travelled with her back to Cleveland weeks later. It was a particularly hard decision for us. Per Chinese belief (or superstition), my parents couldn't have another senior (my mom in law) pass away in the same house. Therefore, they strongly oppose my mom in law staying, but my mom in law wanted to stay and not traveling back to Cleveland any more. It puts us into a very difficult place. It was the first time I felt truly powerless and helpless. I couldn't fulfill my mom in law's last wish, because it was directly against my parent's wish. After my wife travelled back to Cleveland with her mom, she stayed there for couple more days to help settling her in. My wife came back days later and returned to work eventually. Weeks after, her mom passed away. My wife went back to Cleveland for the funeral and brought back her ashes. We found the same captain that we used last year and scattered her ashes at the same spot as her husband. And that, was a painful conclusion of that chapter.  

When my wife was in Shanghai, I took my daughter to Banff National Park in Canada for the summer break. We drover the whole trip. When we entered the boarder the first day, we had to drive through  a forest wide fire. It was pretty surreal, like the movie scene in "Bladerunner 2049". The air around was reddish grey, and we couldn't see anything in close distance. We stayed in a hotel over night and got pretty smoked. I got up early the next day and escaped to the park where it was not impacted. We stayed at a nice cabin in the woods for the rest of the trip. The scenery was grand and beautiful. We did a lot of hiking and walking trails. On the road, I made a big mistake that I regret till this day and determined to never repeat. That is, I passed a semi truck on the highway. It was a very dangerous pass, the semitruck didn't slow down to let me pass and there was an another semitruck coming from the opposite direction. 

In the late summer when my wife was in Cleveland, I had to take my daughter to the California for her Kungfu competition. It was her second tour, and the event was much better organized this year. She did well this year, couple golds, and silver and brown. I was very proud of her. We had a good time in Cali, and have some good food. I also went to the local table tennis club and took a lesson. It was pretty helpful. After we came back, however, my daughter got Covid from school, and passed it to everyone at home. I initially thought she got flu and wasn't being careful around her. Plus the season started to change, eventually everyone got Covid one by one. My dad first, then myself, then my mom. It was scary time for my mom as she has lung cancer. Fortunately she tough through and recovered after a month. My dad was taking care of her mostly (because I was down for couple of days myself). As a matter of fact, my dad has been taking care of her since her cancer diagnose. He certainly has more chores to do everyday. He has ups and downs in his health as well. He went in for hernia surgery early this year because he has persistent pain in lower abdomen. Good news is that the surgery was smooth and successful. The same with his digestive system inspection later this year as well. My wife has been finding small appliances to help him reduce the workload. I will spend more time home making dinner as well. 

With all the changes at work and home, I have developed a new appreciation to mental health. I found an online class called "Manage Happiness" offered by Harvard Business school and completed it. It was a good learning and I found something practical that I could use. Our company also offers mental health consultation as benefit, so I scheduled two sessions last year. It was helpful and I intend to continue next year. 

Another mental model change for me is my greater appreciation of the health, and the time in life. On the other hand, a less emphasis on money, and the chase of rank and fame at work. This is what's been helping me going through my daily routine in the office.

Lastly, I continue to decompress over the weekend by taking table tennis lesson and practicing. It's essential for me to relax and recharge over weekends and ready for the grind in the next week. 

Another big change we have made this year is updating our cars. We have had our Corrola over 17 years and our Sienna for about 10 years. I felt it was time to move on to the newer generation. It was not easy to find good options early in the year because the used car price was overheated during the pandemic caused by low inventory and broken supply chain. There was a guy in the company selling a used 2018 Honda Odessey and I jumped on it. He got it used as well from the online car dealer. I sent it to the garage for inspection and it passed, so I bought it. What I didn't realize was that it had some knocking sound coming from the engine area. I then needed to find the local Honda dealer for repair. Luckily, the repair was still under warranty. They replaced some ball bearings in the engine, and the noise is reduced. This experience really poses the question to me whether or not I should buy used vehicle. The experience to find the replacement for my Corrola was a bit different. I didn't know which car to choose initially. I had a light bulb moment when I realize that EV was actually a good fit for my daily work commute because I can home charge EV. I then picked the used Tesla from its website the next day. I went to the service center to test drive the car and bought the car right after. The purchasing experience of Tesla is straightforward and simple. The Tesla is certainly a new experience (coming from 2006 Corrola CE). My only complain is that it feels every single bumps on the road. It's not a comfortable and cushion ride. The windows got hit by rocks disproportionally. Our Corrola didn't get any windshield damage in the last 17 years. The Tesla got a crack in front windshield in just couple months and I have to replace it for $1400! After the upgrade, we sold our old cars through company's buy sell distribution list. I sold the minivan well below the private party price (because I based the list price off the trade-in price offer we got from CarMax). I learned and sold Corrola at a more reasonable price. 

We end the year with a much needed vacation. Unfortunately my wife couldn't join us because she ran out of time off and leave. My parents couldn't join us because of their condition. So just me and my daughter. My daughter picked Japan from the choices between Europe and Japan. The air tickets are astronomical (due to the holiday), but it worth every penny. We spent 10 days travelling in Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka, and we had a spectacular time. We did a lot of sightseeing, shopping and walking. The food there is amazing. The local restaurants we tried are fantastic. Even the convenient store food is great. We both love the fry chicken there. It can rival any fry chicken joint in the US. The planning of the trip took me a lot time, but it was well worth it. I got the eSim before we left US, and brought some cash with us. We bought the prepaid transportation pass and used public transportation through out the trip. It was convenient and on time. We only used Taxi once when we needed to catch an early morning train with two large luggage. This trip makes me appreciate vacation and makes me realize the amazing and great things in the world to appreciate and look forward to. My daily grind at work seems trivial in comparison. I can't wait for our next trip, we are thinking about Iceland in the next spring. 

My music taste changed this year as well. I came across a radio program "Coffee Chill" as I drove to my Sunday morning table tennis practices early this year and have been following the program ever since. Downtempo and Chill music it's called. The 4 hours program airs on Sunday from 6 to 10, and available for streaming through Apps. I have been listening to it everyday during my commute. Likely related to my mom's cancer diagnose but the music seems to be at the same pace of my energy level. Last year I could still listen to some DnB music and feel pumped about it, but not really this year any more. I will need to monitor it in the next year. I guess I refuse to accept it as a natural aging process at the moment.